How do you feel?

Dear readers,

I recently had an interesting discussion with one of my good friends about depression and related topics such as anxiety. It’s such an issue nowadays, and (going by stats I heard once somewhere…) everyone experiences some form of it throughout their lives. While many things were discussed, the main points that really stuck out for me were as follows:

How much control do you have over depression?
How much do the choices you make influence how depressed you are?
Are too many people being diagnosed, labelled with and over-medicated for depression?

I think enough people are aware of depression for there to a general understanding about what it is. Maybe I’m biased though, as I and many people I know have it or have gone through it. My friend pointed out that feeling emotions is a normal occurrence. Happy, sad, upset, angry, overjoyed, frustrated… everyone feels these things and they are appropriate responses to our circumstances. If you feeling sad because your cat had to be put down, or feeling angry because your sibling trashed your room, it doesn’t mean you suddenly have clinical depression or an anger issue.

However, I feel like I need to argue that depression and anxiety are not that simple. There is a big difference between feeling low to being clinically depressed. “Mental disorders” like this interrupt your functioning. There may be an obvious cause, like a trauma occurring, but most often there is no reason why you become depressed. For some people reading this, you know what it’s like all too well. For those who are lucky enough to not have dealt with it before, just know that it is really difficult to get out of it once it overcomes you. It is not as simple as thinking your way out of it… or is it?

And this is where the questions above come into play. To what extent does one have control over a disorder like this? How can you use healthy strategies to make good choices? And if you do this will you stop being depressed? Where do you draw the line between dismissing it as a “chemical imbalance” or realising you have made unhealthy choices whose consequences you now need to deal with?

Of course I am not an expert, I mean I study animals not humans, but it is relevant to me and challenging in many ways to think that maybe I need to take more responsibility for my mental health. Eek I can even feel myself begin to prickle and get defensive while writing that. I know that when you are in the middle of a rough patch it is very hard to make the right healthy choices. Sure you can take appropriate action, go see professionals and learn how to spot the signs and implement good strategies. These things are beyond important, but does it mean that you are no longer depressed? From my experiences I have always assumed that depression is a state of being, and you just learn to accept it and deal with it.

[Phew... need to take a breather…this is such a complicated topic and there is no way I could write about all my thoughts on it…]

There is a lot more I could blabber on about, but to try and round it off I’ll give you a quick insight into my experiences to try and illustrate what I’ve been saying. For ages I had struggled with “feeling low” and never quite fit the typical description of “depression.” I knew there was something wrong though, I eventually figured out that I had an issue with “anxiety” and my low mood was secondary to/a result of this. I learnt how to recognise the signs of a panic attack pretty quickly and worked really hard to get over that. So yay, no more panic attacks. That was my choice and I took responsibility for that and I fixed it. Go me! However, I still had this underlying level of anxiety. I tried my hardest to make healthy choices. To not let it affect my normal functioning. I chose every day to go to class and do my work. I chose to look after myself and be healthy. I put all the strategies I had learned about into practise but in the end, this constant level of anxiety would not leave me alone. I had good days, but it was a struggle. In hindsight, I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t the person I wanted to be and I wanted that to change so badly but at the time I couldn’t. I eventually got over this, but it wasn’t as simple as choosing to be OK.

So, can you see that I made the right choices and it fixed one thing, but not another?

What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you think people need to take more responsibility for their mental health? Is it really all about choices? It’s very complex and everybody has their own opinion. If you have something encouraging to share then please do. If I have said anything you think is really wrong, again please let me know.

Much love,

M

xx

P.S.
I feel like I need to say this: if you are feeling low and can’t seem to shake it off, I really encourage you to talk to someone you trust and go see a doctor, and/or check out this website: http://www.depression.org.nz/