Something that has been on my heart recently is the saying "actions speak louder than words". Sometimes, words can be very meaningful (e.g. wedding vows) but more often than not I find myself saying things that I actually don't mean (e.g. saying one thing and then doing another). I try to think about what I say before I say it but that is easier said than done! In fact, a lot of things are easier said than done.
There are a lot of things in the media that are made out to be easy, and for a good price. The messages we get bombarded with can be quite overwhelming. "Get fit" "eat right" "lose weight" "buy this and you'll be happy" "you need <insert object> to complete your life" and so on and so forth. What would the media looked like if realistic goals were advertised? It's hard to imagine. And what if the pressure put on by bright colours and "SALE! SALE!!! SALE!!!!" weren't in our faces all the time? I'd definitely be a lot more relaxed. There's a reason I prefer to mute the sound of the TV in the ad breaks.
The one thing I have taken a long time to realise is, despite what the TV says, I don't need to have/do/buy everything advertised. I know, mind absolutely blown, right? But it's easy to get sucked in. It's also easy to say you aren't, but your actions and attitudes give it away. I have an essential flaw in this area. I'm not so bad now, but I used to be terrible at saying "NO!". It's mean. It's a rejection. But apparently I have every right to say "no" to someone who wants some of my resources, because I have limited resources to give. It was a case of "oh yes, I'm good at managing my time" and then saying "yes" to everyone who asked for help and running myself into the ground.
I learned that I can't just commit without thinking, or agreeing without sleeping on it, or say "yes" without talking to over with people that know me well. Why? Because I need to pause, think, wait, so I can say what I mean, and mean what I say - and then back it up with actions. So now, I'm really careful (most of the time...) about what comes out of my mouth. The amount of nonsense I can spit out per minute is quite impressive and quality definitely gives way to quantity. I am slowly learning to slow the tidal wave of words, and add to the intelligent conversation instead of the noise. It actually means I listen more, and become focused on the people around me instead of on myself.
In the famous words of a Sunday school teacher's song...
"I don't wanna be a hypocrite, I don't wanna be a hypocrite... cos they're not hip with it! Yeah I don't wanna be a hypocrite! No, no!"
ah, how it warms the cockles of my heart to see the wisdom I have tried to beat into you finally come out of your own mouth *mother licks finger and writes 'one' in the air*
ReplyDeleteSaying no is also about valuing yourself: you don't want to give so much of yourself away that you don't have anything left for the important things: you, time with God, time with significant others *waves to Sam*, time doing what you need to do. We are both high octane high achievers with huge output but we do run out of gas too and when that happens, we're no good to anyone and have to disappoint by going back on our word.
'Thank for thinking of me. I'll get back to you on that.... I'm honoured you ask. Just let me check what else I have on....What a great idea! I'd really like to support you. Let me just have a look at how I might best do that...' These are all SAFE things to say which validate the person who has asked you and given you time to think through the best decision. Half and half, it's a yes and you can go through with it.
Great post, Mackenna. Timely.