18

Yesterday was my 18th birthday! I was pretty excited. Through all the scandal of being tired my birthday snuck up on me and said hello to my pleasant surprise. I got approximately 50 people wishing me happy birthday via facebook and I got a couple of texts too. I thought that was pretty cool and it made me smile.

What presents? Well I got Eureka (season 2), Once, an Alison Krauss CD, two French CDs from Putumayo, some vouchers for Pagani all from the family. I got a lovely scarf and some candles from the boy, and some beautiful daffodils from Anna (but Jo picked them out, Anna pointed out) and a ticket to go see Dame Kiri Te Kanawa in the middle of October with Jo! All very nice things and I was very happy. And to top it all off we had Filedelfio's Pizza for dinner! Yum. (In case you didn't know, it's the best pizza in the world).

I'm still battling the tiredness but I'm feeling a lot better. I'm drinking lots of water and there are always stray glasses hanging around with small bits of water in them because I just kind of forget about them! I'm still getting exhausted if I go out for more than a couple of hours. I don't know why it makes me tired though. In all seriousness, I think I just find it draining to be around energetic people. You have to listen and respond to what people are saying and if you've been at home by yourself for ages it's hard to fit back in (for me anyway).

I'm adamant that I will be able to the musical though. Because there is no time for anyone else to learn my part. 

I was just looking up the different types of voices on Wikipedia and it had some links to some youtube videos. The voices were amazing! I wish I could sing like them. I probably could if I focused completely on my singing. I wish I had the time and energy to do just that! You see, this is where I get confused about what I want to do at university. Genetics or music? It's a bit late now because apparently all the music applications are due on Wednesday.

Anyway, who knows. Next year is so far away and all I can think about right now is getting better!

I just hate this feeling of wanting to do things and needing to do them, but not being able to because I have no energy.

Today I went to my 5 hour long Sunday rehearsal for the musical in which we were to do all of Act 1. I hadn't been out of the house longer then a couple of hours since I started resting at home. I was fine at the start, having had a meal and some rest before going, but by the time we got to the end of scene 9 (of 11) and had to go home because I couldn't stand up!

I've told my director that I'll be fine for the performances but things like this have really shaken my confidence. Under no circumstances can I pull out, but I just hope and pray I can pull it off and still have energy for school. In fact, I'm missing another week of school to keep resting and I don't really want to think about missing all the crucial discussions and hint sessions that we have in classes, especially english.

Hopefully, I'll be ready to tackle school next Monday. It's my 18th birthday on Friday and I want to be ok enough to not worry and have a nice dinner with the famdamily and the boy.

Wish me luck for regaining energy. It's certainly not easy going!

First

Welcome to my blog. I have no intention of inspiring, depressing, happifying, or helping anyone but if any of these things happen to you then leave me a note.

Having been off school for 6 and a half school days, I need something to do. I have a Biology internal tomorrow to study for and an English research internal to complete for next Monday and 2 hours of piano practise to do... But I just can't find anything to stimulate me. I'm so used to using my brain 7 hours a day, 5 days a week so when I'm stuck at home with a work-from-home-dad and two needy border collies, I start to go a bit crazy.

Yes I know I'm on the computer using up precious time, but this is new and interesting so I'm giving it a go.

I have to stay home because over the last 5 years of my life I've completely exhausted myself. I moved from Auckland to Dunedin in 2006 and ever since then I've been sick or tired or both. I've had glandular fever a few times and practically no immunity. I've had no proper school holidays because of my involvement in NZSSC and have travelled way too much (i.e. all over NZ, to Rio in Brasil, Buenos Aires in Argentina, and Vancouver, Powell River and Vancouver Island in BC, Canada). Infact, I went to Canada for all the July school holidays after missing the last week of term 2 while I was in Auckland prior to that. Then I came back on the Saturday morning, had a rest on Sunday, and was straight back into school that very next day.

Now, after attempting to travel one last time to Auckland and coming back early, my body has decided to stand up against my busy lifestyle. Well, it would if I had any energy left. I've crashed - almost. My energy intake has been depleted whilst my energy output has increased, it seems, tenfold. So after dragging myself to the doctor, she has ordered me to stay at home for a couple of weeks and do as much nothing as I can. Hmmm. So I've been eating five times a day at least and have cancelled everything under the sun (except for the Sound of Music in which I'm playing Maria) and have succeeded in getting all my teachers to send me work. I got a blood test the day after the doctors and apparently on top of everything I'm severely dehydrated. So I have to drink, like, ten glasses of water a day.

So after all that, I hope you're having a really nice day and enjoying having enough energy to go out into the world and do what you need to do. Secretly I can be a really positive person. Just not today I guess.