It's almost at the end of the school holidays and all the work I vowed I would complete by now still sits somewhere not finished in the looming cloud of dread hanging above me.
An english speech, 2-hours-of-piano-a-day, conic sections from calculus, and various other bits of missed topics from every subject at school lie threateningly in my room, in my mind, and in the nagging words of my mother, father, and even my boyfriend.
The thing is, although I need urgently to do to everything I just can't find the motivation. Stress isn't a motivation, nagging isn't, exams aren't... I just don't know how to get myself going and stop spending time procrastinating on facebook, my iPod, and blogs.
I mean I would've been fine if I hadn't contracted some nasty unknown virus, that STILL plagues me with dehydration and an apparently inflamed liver, which kept me out of school for a month in the most important term of the year. If I was perfectly healthy all term, I would've done my speech, my chem internal and been able to attend all the scholarship bio and chem tutes. I wouldn't have missed out on conic sections (which is time-consuming to teach yourself) or learning about The Piano in English (which I very much enjoyed watching).
All in all, the over-whelming sense of doom still lingers and even though I go for brisk walks every morning to clear my head, by the end of the day I can't be bothered again. I wishfully daydream about only doing piano and then when my piano exam is completed with a distinction, I then get a few months to just study or in fact have the information just squashed into my brain conveniently so I can finish my exams with flying colours. Then I'll be able to exercise to my heart's content and eventually be able to run around New Zealand without so much as puffing. All that completed and then I'll be able to spend the rest of my life having energetic fun and winning every medal at the Olympics, much to everyone else's jealous disgust, whilst simultaneously winning the Nobel prize for the cure to everything. Oh yeah, that'll be the life.
